Assassin's attempt to kill Alonte!!

This week an Assassin's attack was thwarted by my Otis beast.

Don't worry my loyal subjects, your King is still alive and well. The would be Assassin was using the stealth cover of the night to aid in his attempt at taking my life. However, his plan was foiled by the Otis beast's skills.
My Mommi was letting the beasts out for their early morning patrol of the perimeter (the one where Poppi is still sleeping like lump on log) and the Otis beast noticed the Kitty Assassin lurking about on the deck. He quickly used his size, speed and loud barking to shock the kitty and force it to flee, while Runaway beast put herself between the door and the Assassin in case it got by Otis somehow and tried to finish the job.
The Kitty Assassin ended up running up one of our trees in a feeble attempt for escape. Of course it does not know of the tree's special power in making all kitty's afraid of heights (this technology was created by my royal scientists in my defence department), so it ended up staying up there for two days. Also, with all of this commotion and excitement Poppi was still asleep...this makes me think that the Kitty Assassin drugged Poppi with a dart or some other drug delivery device.
Two days later at 4 o'clock in the morning, a woman was calling out for the Kitty Assassin, posing as it's Mommi. My Mommi heard the woman and with her merciful heart, ended up allowing the charlatan to take the Kitty Assassin back with her as an act of good measure and a bargaining chip to use at another time. My Mommi is convinced this was an act sanctioned by the neighboring King Horace. She has already come up with a scheme that will include one of our Kitty Assassins, Terrance (the one with the extra paws on each hand...gross but very effective in the deadly arts).
Terrance will be tasked to dispatch King Horace in his sleep and make it brutal and profound so that to make a clear statement to all who dare to threaten your King Alonte!!

Mommi is a very good tactician, she gives off a presence of forgiveness and regal fortitude, but she will be more deadly than pestilence itself when it comes to her family. Another good thing to have as a ruler.

So again, be at ease my subjects, it will take allot more than a little Kitty Assassin to take your Alonte away. HA HA!!

I will check back with you all soon, so please bask in my wonderful praise and pay homage to your ruler King Alonte.

I am back to provide...honor me as you should.

My loyal, dependable subjects-
I have shared with you the news of the passing of Kitty (Emily) the mightiest of the Gatos. Now I shall also provide you with good tidings of my return to your weekly lives. The Kingdom as you know, has seen much change and our borders have increased tenfold from our Gato Army conquering new lands and our fruitful cultivating practices.
I have negotiated, with new neighboring businesses, for my Mommi and Poppi to go serve as slaves during the day. In return, these business owners provide them with currency to take home to me. It is a fair negotiation so far, however I may have to raid their lands and take their wealth reserves so I can have Mommi stay at the castle during the day to entertain and serve me throughout the day.
My royal accountants tell me to wait until the new market "bubble" is ready to burst and then make our move. I don't know what this bubble is, but the Otis beast is in training to be ready to lead the assault on their defenses when the time arises.
The other Gato freaks of nature Terrance and Bob are doing a fine job in keeping me entertained and also keeping the borders within the castle walls protected. They also provide me with warmth from their fat bellies when I choose to slumber on them. For now, the are still providing a purpose and will therefore continue to live. The freakish toes of Terrance are helpful when we have an insect breach our perimeter and Bob's opposing thumbs are a bit unsettling to look at, however are very nice when he is giving me a royal massage.

We are also welcoming a new member of our family. Our close friends the Duke and Duchess of Newark, Mike and Emily have been blessed with child and his name is Sean. He will be a Lord in my court until he is old enough to run one of my kingdoms across the sea. He will be taught by the finest scholars and trained by the finest warriors.

We have been plagued with a threat to our sporting competition. Apparently the warriors within the sport arena feel as though they are under compensated and the masters of these slaves feel the warriors have enough. I have been, of course, afflicted with the burden and distraction of having to mitigate the terms of this dispute and in doing so, became very troubled and vexed. Therefore it was my decision to behead all of them. So, not to bring you dismay but I must announce the absence of your beloved NFL, unless of course we find replacements. I hear the squirrels, possums and raccoons are quite agile and they are cheap.

I now leave you with hope and inspiration. May you be able to provide for me, your King so that I may live long and prosper!!

Your King,
Alonte !

Farewell to Kitty

I have not been very good to my loyal subjects. I have been very silent and neglectful towards you all and for that I can only ask your forgiveness...which you will obvioulsy provide since I am your King!

I have to start off this blog on a sad note. Kitty has gone to the big hunting ground in the sky (or the very HOT one down below). I doubt it will be the one below, since the devil would not want to surrender his reign to Kitty who would undoubtedly take it from him just to show that she can.

My royal physicians did what they could for her, however she was battling a condition that was relentless. She put up an honorable fight and my kingdom is very sad in her absence (all except the mice, birds, squirrels and other prey). Also, our borders are now compromised without her here to police them.

So, we now honor and celebrate the life that was Kitty's. She will never be forgotten and we will wait for her to come back to us someday.

Peace Kitty!!

Intorduction and plea for assistance.

Hello fellow subjects, I am Terrance the cat. I am being held against my will in a house controlled by a smelly Chihuahua named Alonte who thinks he is a King or something. I was adopted with my dimwitted brother Bob one day when my Daddy and Mommy were at the pet store buying food for the smelly, unevolved dogs.
I have been anointed, by the Purple Unicorn, to be the guardian of the yellow raspberries. I have accepted this honor and am currently in the process of expanding my pouch capacity to facilitate this charge instilled upon me. As a reward for this province, I have been retrofitted with extra food gathering instruments, you may call them "toes". These appliances make it easier for me to capture, kill and ingest more sustenance to aide in the expanding of my pouch. They work rather well at punching holes in my brother Bob as well, when I am in need of a good workout.
My Daddy likes to combat the growth of my talons with some sort of mystical wand he utilizes to grind down my appendages. He does not seem to understand that they grow back and are just as useful. I do have some likeness for him, but he can be a bit slow to understand these types of things. I actually think he does not believe in the Purple Unicorn. In this measure he will have to be dealt with, using "retraining" methods to ensure his obedience and loyalty.
I spend most my days making sure I am well rested for the Purple Unicorn's return, by sleeping at least 20 hours per day. The other 4 hours are filled with eating and torturing whatever unsuspecting soul is within reach (with exception to the larger dogs of course). I usually like to do my Olympic training from 2-4 in the morning in Daddy and Mommy's room. They have allot of different apparatuses that I train on. Like the bouncy platform they sleep on, or the light emitters on the sides of the bouncy platform. I also like to train my vocal cords as well during this time to multitask and also keep my illustrious vocal skills at their peak, in order to be selected for American Idol. Daddy likes to get up from time to time as I train to cool me down with a water spray bottle he keeps by the bouncy thing, it is nice of him, but honestly I do not like getting wet.
This American Idol, is a show that Daddy and Mommy like to watch, in which these humans go in front of these other humans and showcase their individual lack of talent, to which the panel of humans outrightingly protest their disgust. Daddy and Mommy seem to laugh allot and I just feel sorrow for their entire sad race's existence. So I will take it upon myself to enter this so called "talent" showcase and upon my selection as American Idol, I will have the platform needed to catapult my influence upon the simple minded humans. With this power as my liege, I will be able to ensure the Purple Unicorn's domination over this planet.
So, for now I leave you with the knowledge of your race's true future, in hopes you will just surrender your control to me so there will be no use for future pain and suffering at the hands of my extra "toes".
Ta Ta and save the Purple Unicorn!!!

The Adventures of Alonte the Chihuahua: Good morning to my people!!

The Adventures of Alonte the Chihuahua: Good morning to my people!!

Good morning to my people!!

Good morning my loyal subjects!! I have had a good nights rest and I am ready to tackle another day of ruling my kingdom......but before I do, I feel though I must inform you of some of the occurrences that transpired last night......While comfortably reanimating in my environmentally controlled safety chamber in which I sleep in (I posted a picture here in upper right). My keen sense of hearing and intuition alerted me of some possible wrong doings. I composed myself and made it seem I was still in my slumber, as to not alert the hooligans responsible for my arousal......and in doing so, I found Poppi using the "Royal opener of metal cylinders" on a rather small can of some sort. In doing so, the gatos were all in some form of mental trance to his every movement, it was like some sort of mind controlling device that caused the lower thinking gatos to freak out!!! I am lucky enough to be blessed with a natural inhibitor to any type of mind controlling devices, so it's power was completely useless on me so there is no reason to panic.....As Poppi completed the task of opening this chamber of mystery, he emptied the contents of this evil into a bowl and added some of this white gooey substance they call mayo....it is actually pretty good stuff, I have them put it on the floor at times in minute amounts in order for me to comfortably enjoy it's taste and offering....Now for some reason the next sequence of events happened in a blur. Poppi was suddenly overcome by Terrance (the fat gato) and as Poppi was being diverted, the other 2 gatos Bob and Emily hastily attacked the substance in the bowl and in doing so, it fell upon Poppi who was gallantly defending himself, while on his back on the floor, against the onslaught of powerful kitty extra toes blows from the possessed Terrance. I could not, because of my vantage point, see what happened next, but I can tell you that upon my awakening this morning, Poppi had a few new additions to his list of physical injuries this morning and was walking with a limp. I have not seen any of the gatos and it is upsetting they have not greeted their leader and King this morning with good praise, but I am told by the slow one Otis, that they have been remanded to solitary confinement within the confines of the dungeon until a royal investigation can be headed up by Mommi to put closure on this obvious traumatic experience. My royal security camera captured this image of the incident.

But for now, I will enjoy some breakfast, maybe go out to check my borders for any compromises while depositing my royal excrement. Maybe then turn on uni vision for my soap operas. What I can tell you, is that whatever this evil mind controlling substance was, it left behind a very formidable salty scent with a hint of fishy fishy....when my royal crime scene investigators have pinpointed it's origin and ingredients, I will pass on it's full description to my royal subjects in hopes of alleviating future "unwanted" circumstances.

I leave you for now and remember to praise your King Alonte!!!!

Welcome to my blog

Greetings, I am ALONTE King of my domain, Lord of my lands and Harborer of many riches instilled upon me by my many admirers.
I have been trapped in this 5 lb Chihuahua body for my entire life and yet I still possess the aura of a Great Black Bear, but I still have a slight Mexican accent and have inherent cravings for Tequila and the George Lopez show . I live and rule in Rochester, NY with my servants and attendants. They have many traits that have been beneficial to my reign.
First there is my Mommi, she is kind, loving, beautiful and has wonderful lap and warm bed. She also rubs me daily and gives me the most attention in the house because she understands I am at top of the hierarchy. Second there is Papi, he can be a bit jealous at times with the attention and love mommi gives me, but also understands his place. He is to feed me and support my daily needs in the absence of Mommi. In this capacity he does OK and should be awarded with a cookie from time to time. Then there are the lower animal life forms in the castle. These are as follows:
Otis - He is a HUGE dog, he has no manners, civil understanding, dining etiquette nor basic common sense. He is easily tricked into thinking Papi has thrown an object behind him when clearly Papi still has it in his hand, he is constantly harassed by the squirrels for their amusement and exercise. He is though very useful in the perimeter guarding of my castle, so I keep him around.
Runaway - She is dog also and mother of Otis beast. She is getting old, but still has her uses to me. She keeps my beds nice and warm until I am ready to use them, and also acts as my personal bodyguard within the confines of the castle.
Emily - She is oldest, smallest and most unapproachable of the gato regime in castle. She is typical feline with aspirations of dethroning me if possible. She spends time outside killing small prey such as birds, rodents and the occasional beating of other gatos in my territory. I keep her on short leash as far as her allowances and I utilize her combat skills to keep other gatos in line.
Terrance - He is one of the new gatos of the castle. Both new gatos are brothers and have visually hideous mutations, his are; extra toes and unsymmetrical head size (too small for his body). He eats allot and has created a large pouch in abdominal region. He states it is to be filled with the yellow raspberries that he will acquire from some "Purple Unicorn" creature to give him the ability to fly.....obviously has some form of brain damage. He is also very prissy and vain. I keep him around for future need of more foot soldiers as I amass more riches.
Bob - He is the final member of family and brother of Terrance. Bob also has extra toes and also no tail, hence his name of Bob. this one is very free spirited and simple minded. also believes in this Purple Unicorn creature and hopes it will bring him power to become invisible. He has no real sense of the workings of the castle, but is valuable for entertainment in a jester role. So I allow him to live.

Iwish to offer my leadership, counsel adventures and stories to all of you in hopes of expanding my kingdoms and amassing more treasures. You may now offer your kind words and salutations to me in hopes of gaining my affections. I will offer and post news and insights into life in my castle as the days come and go, so you may enrich your lives in knowing I am fruitful.